or 3) to give the impression of being accustomed only to impeccable service. We all would like to be flawlessly waited on, but only the rich and royal ever are. Simple decency demands that you avoid giving tradesmen a hard time. If you are not served well, the masculine way of retaliating is merely to bypass the individual in future dealings, or to take your patronage elsewhere.

The mincing step of effeminate males is easy to change. Just lengthen your stride and develop a corresponding swing of the arms. Avoid the tightrope performance of placing one foot directly in front of the other as you walk; never use an Arthur Murray glide except on the dance floor, and keep the hips level with every step. When you carry a small package through the streets, never clutch it high on the chest. Cradle an object thus if there seems to be no other way; otherwise, tote it at the side as you would a suitcase. When bulk or weight makes this impractical, you can usually hold it under the arm, hand straight down and supporting its underside.

Contrary to popular belief, lisping speech is not the vocal trademark of an average homosexual male. Neither is a high-pitched voice. Of all the gay males I've known or observed in a lifetime, only one or two actually lisped. The voices of most were in the alto range, while many boomed from the bass register. Practically all did have one thing in common: a musical quality of amazing softness-the kind of velvet texture expected of cultured voices everywhere, regardless of sex. In the case of homosexual men, however, the dulcet tone often seems exaggerated. I am only aware of these facts and have no knowledge of the causes, hence obviously am not equipped to lecture on them. Nonetheless I can make one suggestion with authority: avoid frequent and undue emphasis of words and phrases. Heterosexual males tolerate this habit in their burbling womenfolk. În you they will find the habit less than becoming.

Masculinity is also reflected in one's choice of words. This is a subtle thing and I can only advise that you start eavesdropping-and govern your vocabulary accordingly. There certainly is no excuse for descending to vulgarities in search of robust speech. On the other hand, a few time-honored four-letter words, used with restraint and in proper company, can enrich the language of any man. Skip the gentle expletives, watch your adjectives, and use superlatives sparingly.

In conclusion, Johnnie, remember that no matter what your physical appearance and deportment, so long as you are clean and decent, lacking in evil thoughts and unworthy behavior, you can hold your head high and return the inspection of all mankind. Practice the routines I have outlined, but don't lose sleep over them. In time they will come as easily as reflexes and contribute to a security you otherwise might have been denied.

The noise of the barroom jarred my thoughts, again making me aware of my surroundings. During my reverie all the stools had been taken and a few customers stood in the background with their drinks in hand. The rising tide of babble was all but drowned by a rocking beat from the jukebox:

Sh-Boom, Sh-Boom, Da-da-da-da-da-da

Da-da-da, Sh-Boom, Sh-Boom...